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Embarking on our Critical Care & Recovery program means entering a space where the pain and struggle of being and/or raising, loving and supporting anxious, demand avoidant individuals are not only understood but met with deep compassion.

This program provides a sanctuary for those who have experienced marginalisation by conventional systems that often lack empathy for the unique experiences of our families.

It's a call to embrace a different approach, where the focus is on healing through connection, patience, and support that recognises the complexity of our lives.

You are welcome, you are valued and you are radically accepted.

 

-Kristy Forbes

Now open all year round.

That means no more waitlists, and no more registration periods.

 

 

Are you experiencing isolation as the result of parenting your demand avoidant child respectfully?

 

I hear you. I see you. I feel you.

I wonder if anyone has told you recently how courageous you are. How selfless you are. 

Perhaps it's that your child has recently left the schooling system after prolonged school avoidance..

It might be that you have had to make changes in your own life around work, study, social connections, sleep and any other form of essential individual care.

You may feel as though nobody gets it. 

People you are close to, friends and family may have told you that you're enabling your child's 'behaviours' or that you are the problem.

I bet you know your child like nobody's business and face barriers you would never have imagined you'd be facing.


 

The message of how to support our anxious, demand avoidant children is becoming lost amongst the strategies, tools & approaches that overlook the true needs of the entire family in favour of overcoming the child's lack of compliance.

PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is more often than not, embedded in a culture of family breakdown, disconnection and desperation as parents and carers fight systems that are riddled with barriers.

Children experiencing school avoidance are pressured further into overlooking and dismissing an important and critical wisdom that lies within, whilst families are vilified in their attempts to both comply with systems and explore ways to support the health and wellbeing of their children.

I have been this parent.

I have been the educator.

I have been the PDA autistic child..

And I am the PDA autistic adult that survived those systems and thrives today. I also know how fragile life is, being a PDAer, and how easily my nervous system based disability can retraumatise and completely disable my body and brain in an instant.

We are skipping over, dancing around, and outright denying the environmental and internalised impacts that disable our demand avoidant children whilst focusing on how to word instructions, how to coax our children into a bathtub or get them to eat a vegetable.

And what many of us aren't realising, is that many ofthese same approaches are the very barriers that prevent us from being connected with our children in safety.

The message of how to support our anxious, demand avoidant children is becoming lost amongst the strategies, tools & approaches

that overlook the true needs of the entire family in favour of overcoming the child's lack of compliance.

PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is more often than not, embedded in a culture of family breakdown, disconnection and desperation as parents and carers fight systems that are riddled with barriers.

Children experiencing school avoidance are pressured further into overlooking and dismissing an important and critical wisdom that lies within, whilst families are vilified in their attempts to both comply with systems and explore ways to support the health and wellbeing of their children.

I have been this parent.

I have been the educator.

I have been the PDA autistic child.

We are skipping over, dancing around, and outright denying the environmental impacts that disable our demand avoidant children whilst focusing on how to word instructions, how to coax our children into a bathtub or get them to eat a vegetable.

And what many of us aren't realising, is that these same approaches are the very barriers that prevent us from being connected with our children in safety.


 

                                 about families being

            deeply connected to their children

and I have felt the loss, grief and confusion associated with my children being disconnected from themselves and their inner knowing due to the pressure I unknowingly projected onto them as a desperate, concerned and isolated parent.

I would love to walk with you, and share the steps we took (and continue to take) as a family, in order to return to deep connection rooted in safety and trust with our children.

I am passionate about families being deeply connected to their children

and I have felt the loss, grief and confusion associated with my children being disconnected from themselves and their inner knowing due to the pressure I unknowingly projected onto them as a desperate, concerned and isolated parent.

I would love to walk with you, and share the steps we took (and continue to take) as a family, in order to return to deep connection rooted in safety and trust with our children.


 

  

 

 

 

focuses on capacity building via the lens of relational safety.

This means that our focus throughout the series is on communicating safety to the demand avoidant brain, whilst building our own capacity as parents and carers to become more empowered to trust in our intuition and expert knowledge via lived experience. This in turn allows us to operate from a space of calm and acceptance, paving the way for connection and capacity building.

Our 6 week series: Critical Care & Recovery for anxious, demand avoidant children focuses on capacity building via the lens of relational safety.

This means that our focus throughout the series is on communicating safety to the demand avoidant brain, whilst building our own capacity as parents and carers to become more empowered to trust in our intuition and expert knowledge via lived experience. This in turn allows us to operate from a space of calm and acceptance, paving the way for connection and capacity building.


 

Kristy Forbes is an Australian based autism & neurodiversity support specialist


with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally.

This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, paediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides.

Her work is informed by her extensive professional experience as an educator (Early Childhood, Primary and Secondary teaching), integration aide and childhood behavioural and family support specialist.

Kristy has degrees in Political & Social Sciences, Education with a disengagement specialisation, Literature, Film and Art.

Her most valuable insights, however, come from lived experience.

Kristy is formally identified (diagnosed) autistic, ADHD and has a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) expression of Autism; as well as being a parent to four neurodivergent children, all with varying neurodivergent experience and expression including being non speaking, experiencing apraxia, dyspraxia, tourettes and PDA.

She has the unique experience and insight of many perspectives: the teacher, the support specialist, the parent, the partner and of course, being the neurodivergent individual.

Kristy understands the very real challenges neurodivergent people and their families face, and the often misunderstood and undermined position they are in.

Her own personal journey as an autistic person, and the story of her family is often documented throughout her work in her writing, her speaking, her many programs and webinars and in private consultation with others throughout the deeply personal process of empathy and compassion.

Kristy's work and approach to parenting and connecting is through the lifelong lens of truly seeing and valuing the individual, and the way they experience & respond to the world.

Her most impactful work is in the PDA space, having experienced incredible adversity as a result of her own experience of compromised mental and physical health as a youth, being in and out of the juvenile court system, and experiencing other outcomes of chronic and systemic misunderstanding of how and who she was.

She has a special interest in PDA related trauma and burnout and works with individuals and families in private consultation, programs, speaking and writing.

Kristy's work is inspired by Professor (Aunty) Judy Atkinson, Jiman / Bundjalung woman & her work & leadership in the field of intergenerational and relational trauma; working with communities in educational – healing work, what she calls educaring.

Dadirri - deep listening as a privilege, honour, responsibility; and a practice of spiritual connectedness with the self and others, and the opportunity to learn from our stories, by Miriam-Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann.

 

 


 

 


 

If PDA was a chronic illness spacespace  

We take a deep dive into the nature of PDA itself and the impact it's complexity has on the ways in which we parent and care for our children; and how to begin to create space for recovery from burnout and trauma whilst remaining connected as a family.

The pitfalls of declarative, low and no demand language

Feeling confused about how to word things, how to frame instructions & not sure when to try & when to step back? We take a look at how declarative, low and no demand language may be doing more harm than good & where our focus *might* be better placed.

It wasn’t a wolf, but I fainted anyway space

Understanding burnout, exhaustion, and how demand avoidance, anxiety and mental health will often get worse before it gets better, even when we're creating positive change. We cover what to expect and how to manage the changes. space space space

My child won’t stop/won’t start..

Reassessing much of the information on offer to us as parents regarding child developmental trajectories is crucial in being able to assess the benefits and/or challenges associated with common aspects of demand avoidance such as screen time, hygiene, food and relationships. We discuss this in greater depth from an autistic perspective. Spacespacespacesp

Managing distressed behaviour Space

Anger, aggression, targeting siblings and others, self harm, property damage..we check in on how to support ourselves and our children through distressing situations, meltdowns and shutdowns. Spacespacespace Spacespacespace Spaces pacespace Space spaces pace Space spaces paceSpace spaces pace spaces pace spaces 

Quality of life

So what about the tricky bits? Education, therapies, medical support, social connections and relationships, independence and all the things that make up a well balanced life?

These are all critical topics to discuss and we spend some time taking a close look at how to create a balance of what works and doesn't work for our families.

 


 


 

I love your voice, I adore your take on life, I think your openness and honesty and generosity of spirit is refreshing. I’ve read your posts, listened to lives, and most recently watched the Bright & Quirky seminars, of which yours was a highlight for me with so many gold nuggets of aha! moments.

Thank you for offering a lifeline those of us who are often out of our depth.

You have literally kept me sane while I figure out next steps.

You are so amazing and I’m so grateful for everything you share with us on social media and in your class. Your work is healing work! I love the zoom session recordings. The other parent questions are wonderful.



It has been one of those days today, and we have had access to you twice today and we are feeling like we are in the twilight zone! ( in a very very good way). Just a quick one to say to you, you are an incredible being; the past 24hrs for you and you still give back. There is nothing to express to you the depth of gratitude for myself in having found you and your services.



I heard you on Tilt parenting with Debby Reber a year ago and it was my light bulb moment. I’m grateful to you for leading me to continue exploring this parenting journey.  Without you I wouldn’t be where I am today. Finally getting my child out of conventional schooling after being tormented all these years. Still a journey but a little more peaceful.

From Canada, I acknowledge your depth of lived experience, information and vulnerability in sharing with all of us, around the world. You have opened so many opportunities in so many ways for us. As a paediatric OT, Mom of two autistic boys, wife of a wife with PDA who is late diagnosed and is also an executive coach. We have watched your modules together. I have recommended your programs often to parents. So much to reflect on, learn and discuss.  I could listen to you all day. It is priceless.




 

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