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Are you experiencing isolation as the result of parenting your demand avoidant child respectfully?

 

I hear you. I see you. I feel you.

I wonder if anyone has told you recently how courageous you are. How selfless you are. 

Perhaps it's that your child has recently left the schooling system after prolonged school avoidance..

It might be that you have had to make changes in your own life around work, study, social connections, sleep and any other form of essential individual care.

You may feel as though nobody gets it. 

People you are close to, friends and family may have told you that you're enabling your child's 'behaviours' or that you are the problem.

I bet you know your child like nobody's business and face barriers you would never have imagined you'd be facing.

 

The message of how to support our anxious, demand avoidant children is becoming lost amongst the strategies, tools & approaches

that overlook the true needs of the entire family in favour of overcoming the child's lack of compliance.

PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is more often than not, embedded in a culture of family breakdown, disconnection and desperation as parents and carers fight systems that are riddled with barriers.

Children experiencing school avoidance are pressured further into overlooking and dismissing an important and critical wisdom that lies within, whilst families are vilified in their attempts to both comply with systems and explore ways to support the health and wellbeing of their children.

I have been this parent.

I have been the educator.

I have been the PDA autistic child..

And I am the PDA autistic adult that survived those systems and thrives today.

We are skipping over, dancing around, and outright denying the environmental and internalised impacts that disable our demand avoidant children whilst focusing on how to word instructions, how to coax our children into a bathtub or get them to eat a vegetable.

And what many of us aren't realising, is that these same approaches are the very barriers that prevent us from being connected with our children in safety.

The message of how to support our anxious, demand avoidant children is becoming lost amongst the strategies, tools & approaches

that overlook the true needs of the entire family in favour of overcoming the child's lack of compliance.

PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is more often than not, embedded in a culture of family breakdown, disconnection and desperation as parents and carers fight systems that are riddled with barriers.

Children experiencing school avoidance are pressured further into overlooking and dismissing an important and critical wisdom that lies within, whilst families are vilified in their attempts to both comply with systems and explore ways to support the health and wellbeing of their children.

I have been this parent.

I have been the educator.

I have been the PDA autistic child.

We are skipping over, dancing around, and outright denying the environmental impacts that disable our demand avoidant children whilst focusing on how to word instructions, how to coax our children into a bathtub or get them to eat a vegetable.

And what many of us aren't realising, is that these same approaches are the very barriers that prevent us from being connected with our children in safety.

 

                                 about families being

            deeply connected to their children

and I have felt the loss, grief and confusion associated with my children being disconnected from themselves and their inner knowing due to the pressure I unknowingly projected onto them as a desperate, concerned and isolated parent.

I would love to walk with you, and share the steps we took (and continue to take) as a family, in order to return to deep connection rooted in safety and trust with our children.

I am passionate about families being deeply connected to their children

and I have felt the loss, grief and confusion associated with my children being disconnected from themselves and their inner knowing due to the pressure I unknowingly projected onto them as a desperate, concerned and isolated parent.

I would love to walk with you, and share the steps we took (and continue to take) as a family, in order to return to deep connection rooted in safety and trust with our children.

 

Our 6 week series: 

 

 

 

 

focuses on capacity building via the lens of relational safety.

This means that our focus throughout the series is on communicating safety to the demand avoidant brain, whilst building our own capacity as parents and carers to become more empowered to trust in our intuition and expert knowledge via lived experience. This in turn allows us to operate from a space of calm and acceptance, paving the way for connection and capacity building.

Our 6 week series: Critical Care & Recovery for anxious, demand avoidant children focuses on capacity building via the lens of relational safety.

This means that our focus throughout the series is on communicating safety to the demand avoidant brain, whilst building our own capacity as parents and carers to become more empowered to trust in our intuition and expert knowledge via lived experience. This in turn allows us to operate from a space of calm and acceptance, paving the way for connection and capacity building.

 

If PDA was a chronic illness spacespace  

We take a deep dive into the nature of PDA itself and the impact it's complexity has on the ways in which we parent and care for our children; and how to begin to create space for recovery from burnout and trauma whilst remaining connected as a family.

The pitfalls of declarative, low and no demand language

Feeling confused about how to word things, how to frame instructions & not sure when to try & when to step back? We take a look at how declarative, low and no demand language may be doing more harm than good & where our focus *might* be better placed.

It wasn’t a wolf, but I fainted anyway space

Understanding burnout, exhaustion, and how demand avoidance, anxiety and mental health will often get worse before it gets better, even when we're creating positive change. We cover what to expect and how to manage the changes.

My child won’t stop/won’t start..

Reassessing much of the information on offer to us as parents regarding child developmental trajectories is crucial in being able to assess the benefits and/or challenges associated with common aspects of demand avoidance such as screen time, hygiene, food and relationships. We discuss this in greater depth from an autistic perspective. Spacespacespacesp

Managing distressed behaviour Space

Anger, aggression, targeting siblings and others, self harm, property damage..we check in on how to support ourselves and our children through distressing situations, meltdowns and shutdowns. Spacespacespace Spacespacespace Spaces pacespace Space spaces pace Space spaces paceSpace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace spaces pace

Quality of life

So what about the tricky bits? Education, therapies, medical support, social connections and relationships, independence and all the things that make up a well balanced life?

These are all critical topics to discuss and we spend some time taking a close look at how to create a balance of what works and doesn't work for our families.

 

You'll also receive our podcast of audio recordings from each live session, along with slides, reflective questions and highlights from each session.

 

Each week, you'll receive a prerecorded workshop where we'll discuss a specific topic. Following the slides and training, we'll then engage in an hour long Q&A once per fortnight (3 x sessions over the six weeks) where you can ask anything you like or put forward additional topics for discussion.

 

You'll also receive our podcast of audio recordings from each live session, along with slides, reflective questions and highlights from each session.

Each week, you'll join a live webinar where we'll discuss a range of topics. Following the slides and training, we'll then engage in an hour long Q&A where you can ask anything you like or put forward additional topics for discussion.

You'll have the opportunity to create discussion posts inside of our private, dedicated Facebook group and Kristy will drop in once per week for a check in chat.

 

 

We'll be discussing topics and situations that are all too common and all too real, that perhaps have not been facilitated in preexisting spaces due to the fear that many families experience around being alone.

You are not alone.

If you're looking to learn where to begin assisting yourself and your child in moving forward from burnout, shutdown and trauma related experiences such as school avoidance or not being able to leave the family home; then this is the space for you.

 

I love your voice, I adore your take on life, I think your openness and honesty and generosity of spirit is refreshing. I’ve read your posts, listened to lives, and most recently watched the Bright & Quirky seminars, of which yours was a highlight for me with so many gold nuggets of aha! moments.

Thank you for offering a lifeline those of us who are often out of our depth.

You have literally kept me sane while I figure out next steps.

You are so amazing and I’m so grateful for everything you share with us on social media and in your class. Your work is healing work! I love the zoom session recordings. The other parent questions are wonderful.



It has been one of those days today, and we have had access to you twice today and we are feeling like we are in the twilight zone! ( in a very very good way). Just a quick one to say to you, you are an incredible being; the past 24hrs for you and you still give back. There is nothing to express to you the depth of gratitude for myself in having found you and your services.



I heard you on Tilt parenting with Debby Reber a year ago and it was my light bulb moment. I’m grateful to you for leading me to continue exploring this parenting journey.  Without you I wouldn’t be where I am today. Finally getting my child out of conventional schooling after being tormented all these years. Still a journey but a little more peaceful.

From Canada, I acknowledge your depth of lived experience, information and vulnerability in sharing with all of us, around the world. You have opened so many opportunities in so many ways for us. As a paediatric OT, Mom of two autistic boys, wife of a wife with PDA who is late diagnosed and is also an executive coach. We have watched your modules together. I have recommended your programs often to parents. So much to reflect on, learn and discuss.  I could listen to you all day. It is priceless.



 

Not quite ready for our 6 week programs but looking for community care?

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inTune Access Support: Family Collective.

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