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I never want to forget. autism autistic autistic burnout communication community identity parenting trauma Jan 05, 2024

This is an image of me, deep in the trenches, around a decade ago.

My husband would message from work each day and ask how 'things' were.

Some days, I couldn't speak. I'd send pictures. This was one of those days, and I remember and still feel that exact moment. I was in the bathroom,...

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Which comes first? Trauma or PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)? anxiety autism autistic children parenting pathological demand avoidance Jan 03, 2024

Often it's enough to be in a world that does not accept us, or that we find so incredibly challenging in terms of the differences between the way we are wired to exist and live; and the way society is set up.

There are huge disparities between the two. Inconsistencies in what we know...

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Our child is struggling with demand avoidance and cannot complete simple, familiar tasks. autism autistic burnout demand avoidance pathological demand avoidance Jan 02, 2024

I've been reflecting on a powerful concept we discussed in our recent Q&A from inTune with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance).

The art of living in the now, especially when supporting our children. I relate to this deeply as a parent. We often find ourselves caught up in the...

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I will not wait until I’m in my last days. autism autistic autonomy health identity joy mental health radical acceptance Oct 03, 2023

So many people unconsciously spend (waste) their lives working toward what they hope will be peace, one day.

Work hard, then rest.

Main meal first, then dessert.

Wees first, then poos. (I made that one up because order hurts my PDA autistic ADHD brain).

We’ve been taught to abandon our...

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It never gets easier autism autistic boundaries children mental health parenting Sep 27, 2023

It never gets easier, nor am I ever better prepared for the moments my autistic children (and I) are exposed to another parent’s grief stricken story about their autistic child.

I was conditioned to believe that the first of my children to be identified autistic had 'disappeared' and there...

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I have not yet rebuilt. autism autistic health pathological demand avoidance pda radical acceptance Sep 22, 2023

Hello, I’m here writing. It isn’t easy, and it isn’t complete.

Be patient with me, please, as I figure out a way to communicate this internalised experience, these thousands of thoughts, these physical movements that come along with those things and the way in which I "say" it...

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When I give, I give myself. Sep 11, 2023

Walt Whitman said "When I give, I give myself".

Both a blessing and a curse, this is something I am forever navigating and managing. I'm someone that loves to give, because it makes me feel good to see others doing well, and because I will *never* forget where I have come from, it's always been...

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We're in this together. Sep 05, 2023

I had a close friend and colleague reach out to me about six months ago to ask how I'd feel about them writing a book on parenting neurodivergent children. They know that I'm also working on this (insert laughter coupled with PDA) and honestly?

I was pumped.

If we truly are working in advocacy,...

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PDAers don't make promises. Sep 05, 2023

We have a saying in our family: "PDAers don't make promises".

It's a letting off the hook for all of us, because I can't tell you the amount of times adults try to bargain, not realising the demand that is wrapped up inside of the really exciting thing they get if they comply.

"They PROMISED ME...

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You don't like the soup? autism autistic mental health neurodivergent Aug 02, 2023

(ETA: This is not about being against therapy. It is a piece on the problematic nature of generic frameworks thrown at autistic people, rather than a consideration of the individual needs, wants, preferences and if there actually is a need for therapies.)

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When I hear “What’s the...

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Yesterday, someone trolled me on social media. autism autistic boundaries language pda trauma Aug 02, 2023

Yesterday, someone trolled me on social media.

That in itself isn’t the thing. That happens to autistic folks who joyfully resist the disorder narrative all the time.

It’s threatening to some, to read my writings or hear me speak about my autistic pride.

I was speaking about how so...

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It's her time to shine. Jul 15, 2023

Trigger warning: ABA, restraint, compliance therapies, autistic child.

I don't typically share such personal stories about my loved ones, but I feel this one is really, really important.

 



She’s 12. I knew she was autistic in her infancy. I had to wait for everyone to catch up. It was...

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