This year saw my beginnings in trauma therapy. While there are many definitions of what trauma therapy is, and varied approaches, I’m clear on one thing: this has been the most significant and most painful (and perhaps rewarding?) undertaking in all of my 45 years. 

As I entered my...

In order to identify as neurodivergent, I have first had to understand what I diverge from.

Most people hear the term neurodivergent and hear that I am diverging from ‘typical’.

Typical neurobiology.

But typical does not exist. It isn’t a biological fact at all, it isn’t...

This can actually be culturally and socially appropriate.

We accept that teens do this as part of their identity formation and separation from us into their transition toward a sense of self in adolescence. We make jokes about “the teen years”, and many PDAers actually come into the...

This is an image of me, deep in the trenches, around a decade ago.

My husband would message from work each day and ask how 'things' were.

Some days, I couldn't speak. I'd send pictures. This was one of those days, and I remember and still feel that exact moment. I was in the bathroom,...

I've been reflecting on a powerful concept we discussed in our recent Q&A from inTune with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance).

The art of living in the now, especially when supporting our children. I relate to this deeply as a parent. We often find ourselves caught up in the...

So many people unconsciously spend (waste) their lives working toward what they hope will be peace, one day.

Work hard, then rest.

Main meal first, then dessert.

Wees first, then poos. (I made that one up because order hurts my PDA autistic ADHD brain).

We’ve been taught to abandon our...

It never gets easier, nor am I ever better prepared for the moments my autistic children (and I) are exposed to another parent’s grief stricken story about their autistic child.

I was conditioned to believe that the first of my children to be identified autistic had 'disappeared' and there...

Hello, I’m here writing. It isn’t easy, and it isn’t complete.

Be patient with me, please, as I figure out a way to communicate this internalised experience, these thousands of thoughts, these physical movements that come along with those things and the way in which I "say" it...

Walt Whitman said "When I give, I give myself".

Both a blessing and a curse, this is something I am forever navigating and managing. I'm someone that loves to give, because it makes me feel good to see others doing well, and because I will *never* forget where I have come from, it's always been...

I had a close friend and colleague reach out to me about six months ago to ask how I'd feel about them writing a book on parenting neurodivergent children. They know that I'm also working on this (insert laughter coupled with PDA) and honestly?

I was pumped.

If we truly are working in advocacy,...

We have a saying in our family: "PDAers don't make promises".

It's a letting off the hook for all of us, because I can't tell you the amount of times adults try to bargain, not realising the demand that is wrapped up inside of the really exciting thing they get if they comply.

"They PROMISED ME...

(ETA: This is not about being against therapy. It is a piece on the problematic nature of generic frameworks thrown at autistic people, rather than a consideration of the individual needs, wants, preferences and if there actually is a need for therapies.)

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When I hear “What’s the...