I want to preface by saying I am afraid of making mistakes, afraid of my ignorance, but also well aware of my privilege in being able to say so. This writing is a reflection of my desperation to be an adequate ally and neurokin to my autistic siblings from other identities, cultures and...
(Disclaimer: I have made the choice to allow my advocacy to naturally transition into tapping into my true neurodivergent experience which extends beyond the limited language of verbal communication. I do this out of a sense of pursuing an organic lens of being, and an unexplored expression of...
You know what drove me to a raging meltdown as a kid, more than anything else?
My perfectionist brain.
If my socks didn't sit right, even when they weren't uncomfortable.
If the picture on the wall was leaning a smidgen.
My perfectionist brain would very quickly and very easily fast track into...
I am different.
I feel it from a multidimensional perspective.
It is more than a neurotype, it is a way of 'being' in this world.
Yet, the words 'being' and 'world' are not enough.
There is no language to express my "autism".
Because it's more than autism.
Words, verbal language is not my first...
Driving in the car last night, my eldest daughter told me that she "actually legitimately, really loves me now. Like, this is probably the most she's ever loved me".
Bless her PDA heart.
And I get it.
It's difficult when we're bombarded by a world of demand pressure to feel anything.
When I REACT to my child in their most vulnerable moments,
I am called to explore within.
Do I have unmet needs?
Am I hungry, tired, thirsty, lonely, sad, scared?
Am I unidentified neurodivergent, therefore experiencing extremely fragile central and pheripheral nervous systems?
Are my sensory...
Part of my PDA autistic expression is the inability to continue on with hobbies, projects and plans that excite me; that I really want to engage in.
The very act of planning has the potential to activate the threat response in my brain.
The part of my brain that receives information from the...
Yesterday, one of my closest and dearest friends panicked and cried as the result of my dry, expressionless, monotone humour.
We moved through it together, it was cleared up and we still love each other.
But, it reminded me of the many times this has happened throughout my life.
When I was...
I remember when I first found the courage to ask Mum if I absolutely HAD to kiss and hug every relative I was never able to recall that was visiting for the weekend.
I really wasn’t comfortable with being touched, hugged and especially kissed as a child.
And even as an adult,...
If, like me, your current lifestyle resembles a time where you weren’t doing so well,
It’s important to acknowledge that this is NOT that time.
There were a number of years of my life where I was unable to leave our family home
For a number of reasons, all associated with unsupported...
At least a hundred times per week, I used to call my husband at work, sobbing or raging down the phone.
“..and then they did this!”
“..and they also did that!”
“..and I can’t do this anymore! I just can’t live like this!”
He, being a rational man...
April. Is. Hard.
(The following is expressed with gentleness and respect from an autistic person, and from one parent to another).
Part of my identity in this lifetime is that I’m a Mum.
I’m a mother of four daughters.
I’m not an ‘autism mom’ and my childrens’...