Reflections

An illustration of a women kneeling down with a dustpan, and a young child sweeping with a broom towards her.

We bring our children home. autism neurodivergent parenting schooling Jul 22, 2021

We bring our children home

From failed systems

That have been enabled not to care

Not to care for our children

For us; when we were the children

We educate our children

And while trying to create a safe space

For their trauma to unravel

Our trauma too, unravels

Our children are...

Where my grief came from. autism parenting selfcare Jul 15, 2021

This morning as I was barefoot walking through the garden, connecting with the earth, I felt a deep sadness come over me.

My instinct was to push the sadness away and to think of something else fast in order to distract myself; but as soon as I became conscious of this, I returned to...

School Trauma: Tuning into the language of behaviour. behaviours communication neurodivergent schooling Jul 08, 2021

For many of us, when we withdraw our children from school after prolonged challenges within that system, we expect that our children will begin to do better at home.

This isn't always so.

Our children do the best they can, in survival mode.

Survival mode...

A photo of Australian-based Autism support specialist, Kristy with a group of people who are dressed as Stormtroopers from 'Star Wars'

Appearances can be (so very) deceiving. autism behaviours communication neurodivergent socialising Jul 01, 2021

I'm a PDA autistic (Pathological demand avoidance).

This means that my social connectedness; my ability to engage with others naturally and to make eye contact gives the impression that I possess a higher level of social "ability" than what is expected of me.

As a PDA autistic,...

A photo of Australian-based Autism support specialist, Kristy and her husband.

How I show up in friendships. autism behaviours friendship neurodivergent Jun 24, 2021

Hi!

I'm Kristy, and I'm TERRIBLE at being a friend in the neuronormative sense.

I take months to respond to messages in my inbox, if ever.

Sometimes I say things that come across as blunt, forceful, offensive and/or rude.

I say No (a lot) to outings, catch-ups and people...

An elephant with its calf walking in a field

An invitation to lead with love. autism neurodivergent parenting Jun 17, 2021

Contrary to popular parenting advice, the time when our children return to the safety of our energy after being in trouble is not the time to lecture.

It is not the time to remind our babies why we were angry or what they did wrong and why they should never do that thing again.

...

Sensory overload and a social hangover. autism behaviours neurodivergent socialising Jun 10, 2021

Sitting here reminiscing about the good ole masking in social situations; days of extreme and intense anxiety for weeks, months leading up to events with other people.

The day would finally arrive and I’d be frozen ALL DAY, unable to get moving.

A last-minute sprint clean...

Hand reaching for snack on kitchen table

Food, glorious food! anxiety parenting pathalogical demand avoidance pda Jun 04, 2021

Trigger Warning: Mentions food, eating disorders and sensory aversions.

Please note the below is my personal experience and I am not a qualified medical professional or dietician.

Food. Glorious food.

Let’s talk about it.

In our family, we’ve had a variety of...

Meeting my (now) husband. autism dating neurodivergent May 20, 2021

In the years of my heavily masked unidentified autistic life, dating was an absolute nightmare.

I hated it.

Relationships caused me so much confusion, pain, self-doubt and anguish.

Flirting. Ugh.

Eye contact, words, body language, no clue.

No freaking...

Reclaiming the word "autistic." autism language neurodivergent radical acceptance May 13, 2021

A great beginning point when becoming a friend and ally to the autistic community is to use the term "autistic" rather than ASD.

I see the abbreviation ASD and my skin crawls.

Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Disorder.

"My ASD kiddo" equates to "My autism...

Image of a young person, with their back turned, at the beach.

My disability is my most sacred ally. language masking pda radical acceptance May 06, 2021

So much of my anger, resentment and self-loathing as a young person came from the pressure I felt to mask.

Masking is both something I, as an autistic person partake in as a choice at times to get to where I want to be in life (e.g. jumping through hoops to get into courses or job...

Image descriptions: an illustration of a mother and child saying “Mum is the best.”

When there's not enough processing time. autism neurodivergent parenting Apr 29, 2021

Parenting is tough.

Being autistic and parenting can be challenging when we share the same sensory challenges as our little people and need time and space to be calm.

Today we had a tricky moment and I said with more force behind my voice and energy than usual “I think...

Join Our Free Trial