Reflections
Essays from Kristy Forbes exploring PDA, autistic experience, parenting, identity, care, systems and the ordinary moments that shape family life.
PDA accommodations for children can be challenging for parents and carers to identify
Jul 31, 2025
My youngest says "No" and all its variations in response to almost every request I make of them.
And I don't flinch.
This is an accommodation. It is a means of balancing what feels off kilter for a PDAer when a demand is p...
I'd rather stab my eye than do this... (spoiler: it's group work)
Aug 13, 2021
I still cringe inside when remembering the moments I heard āOkay everyone, find a partnerā, or āSo weāre going to get into groups of threeā...
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No.
Nah, not doinā it.
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I would rather stab myself in t
...Iāll never āovercomeā my PDA neurobiology.
Aug 13, 2021
Iām often asked how, as a PDAer, I am able to overcome my need for control in parenting my own children with a PDA profile of autism.
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I donāt overcome it.
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Iāll never āovercomeā my neurobiology.
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My Dreaming Life
Aug 13, 2021
*Trigger warning: Trauma nightmares, self-harm, police, psychiatric ward*
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My dreaming life.
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As I age, it becomes more intense; a beckoning for me to process what feels like insurmountable, unfatho
...She is so much more.
Aug 05, 2021
I often touch on how important it is to move beyond the generic support framework for our autistic children in the classroom. This includes a timer, dot points on the board and visuals.
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Whilst these are really
...My PDA neurobiology.
Jul 29, 2021
I'm up at 5am this morning.
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I have an appointment in the city and it's at a new address I haven't been to before.
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This means that I get up early, google the address over coffee to check out some images
...School Trauma: Tuning into the language of behaviour.
Jul 08, 2021
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For many of us, when we withdraw our children from school after prolonged challenges within that system, we expect that our children will begin to do better at home.
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This isn't always so.
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Our chil
...Appearances can be (so very) deceiving.
Jul 01, 2021
I'm a PDA autistic (Pathological demand avoidance).
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This means that my social connectedness; my ability to engage with others naturally and to make eye contact gives the impression that I possess a higher level
...How I show up in friendships.
Jun 24, 2021
Hi! 
I'm Kristy, and I'm TERRIBLE at being a friend in the neuronormative sense.
I'm Kristy, and I'm TERRIBLE at being a friend in the neuronormative sense.Ā
I take months to respond to messages in my inbox, if ever.
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Sometimes I say things that come across as blunt, forceful, of
...Sensory overload and a social hangover.
Jun 10, 2021
Sitting here reminiscing about the good ole masking in social situations; days of extreme and intense anxiety for weeks, months leading up to events with other people.
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The day would finally arrive and Iād be fr
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