I have to make a daily, often moment by moment conscious decision to drop from my head space down into my heart space when it comes to parenting my girls.
For far too long, I was riddled with self doubt, seeking answers outside of myself.
Always wondering what others would do. Do they intuitively just know how to handle this issue with their children? How did they work this out?
Professional input and parenting courses (unnecessary) completely disconnected me from my sense of self and my power as a Mother.
It cut away at the already fragile threads that connected me to my children and my girls constantly mirrored back to me the anxiety and inner turmoil I was throwing out energetically.
I didn't mean to. I was doing my best with what I had and what I knew in any given moment.
But my head was filled with the thoughts, opinions, judgements, unsolicited advice and disapproving looks in regards to parenting my children.
My autistic children.
But whether our children are autistic or not is irrelevant.
I knew in my heart how I felt.
I knew in my heart what I knew.
I knew in my heart how I wanted to handle situations intuitively.
And when I had nothing left and nowhere to go for support in my parenting,
I finally dropped to my knees, and moved forward by parenting from my heart space.
Every single day, I have to return to my centre and listen.
I listen and I observe, with a neutral curiosity.
I see who is in my head and I hear what they say.
Family, friends, strangers in the supermarket, educators perhaps?
It's different for all of us.
I see and I hear it.
And I let it go.
It no longer serves me.
I look at my children, I hear them and I feel into our truth together.
And, what others think about that is their responsibility and not mine.
Image Credit: Daria Obymaha
(Image description: A photo of parent and child shot from behind. They are outside standing in a field of long grass, the sun appears to be setting. The parent holds the child on their back in the piggy-back position.)
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