Who do you draw courage from?
I draw courage from those who are willing to be radically themselves. The people who I know behind the scenes are getting their arse kicked; both to their face and behind their back.
Behind the closed doors of my community are autistic advocates, PDAers, ADHDers, of all ages and races, cultures and faiths pushing through so much.
I spend a lot of my down time in connection with my kin, sharing my stories and hearing their stories.
Holding space for each others' pain and sadness; experiences of dismissal and rejection.
We know things about each other that others don't.
We know of our collective trauma, and our collective strengths.
I know when I show up in here, I am supported by so many people on the sidelines.
I'm also aware that there are those who share my content and criticise it, laugh at it and every now and then I receive an email or see a comment in a group somewhere about me that is absolutely horrific.
I feel it. I sit with it. I watch my feelings come and go, I make a conscious effort to leave that content where it originated and for those who spend the time criticising from behind the closed doors of cowardly small gatherings to be responsible for their lives whilst I continue on with mine.
Trauma, rejection, abandonment and pain exists everywhere and it is expressed in a variety of ways.
Some of us take our pain and we put it into stories; we use it to create, so we can share it with the world to bring others comfort and community.
We turn it into love.
Some of us take our pain and throw it by the handful at others.
We see our pain points reflected back to us like a mirror in others and we throw hate at it; neglecting to nurture and love ourselves, to be compassionate and gentle with ourselves and to have the courage to sit with the discomfort of exploration of our inner world.
To take responsibility for ourselves.
When a person, place or thing doesn't feel right for me, I move on and I let that person, place or thing just be.
It is far more powerful to advocate and to fight for what we want, what we believe in and what we need rather than to sit with inaction and criticise others.
We are all powerful beings with incredible skills and offerings to the world, and our pain, our trauma is better used to create and develop those offerings than it is to be thrown at others and spread further.
If you are behind the scenes, if you are inside of closed communities spending time criticising others who are out here, standing in their truth and their courage; I want to hear from you.
I want to encourage you.
I want to help you build your own platform where you stand, getting your arse kicked but pushing through in radical acceptance of yourself and others and opening your wounds and vulnerability to the world.
I want to know about your story.
I want to hear about what you want, rather than see those ugly manifestations of unhealed wounds.
You deserve better.
We all do.
Image Credit: Karolina Grabowska
(Image description: A photo of an ornate, bronze teaspoon. The teaspoon sits on a marble bench top and the spoon is filled with finely chopped herbs and spices.)
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