ADHD and ME

Uncategorized Sep 25, 2020

A few weeks back, I wrote a post on how I'd tried a couple of options for ADHD meds and they hadn't worked out.

I found myself sleeping on the couch with zero motivation and personality along with a shut down of my impulsivity.

I hated it.

I couldn't connect with my "centre" and couldn't find language to express myself at all.

I'd decided meds weren't for me and I went off everything.

Part of my transparency and vulnerability is that I want people and their families, professionals and carers to hear a range of experiences from neurodivergent people and this is mine.

A little over a week and a half ago, with my psychiatrist, I decided to try a different dosage, just to see whether it might make a difference.

I wanted to do this because a previous client and many of you actually reached out to me to share your own stories with medication and I cannot tell you all how grateful I am.

I doubled the dosage and here I am, to tell you that in just a week it has completely transformed my life.

I am able to follow a thought to the end.

I am able to finalise projects and prioritise tasks.

I am able to think clearly and find the right words.

I am able to clean my home, and manage my business.

I am able to be completely present with the task or the activity I'm currently engaged in.

I can enjoy playing with my children without worrying about all the things I'm not doing.

I no longer feel like I'm chasing my tail.

Not to mention the mere fact that a basic increase in dopamine has completely changed my mood and thought processes.

Meds won't be everyone's answer and I understand and appreciate the very valid concerns around them.

But this works for me.

I'm still me. I'm still loud and proud and full of personality.

I'm still completely impulsive, but meds make the difference between whether I'll wake up my husband from his sleep with a full blown high pitched opera song or a gentle nudge and a coffee.

Am I still demand avoidant and a PDAer?

Oh hell yes. There's no med in the world for that.

But that's because it's grossly misunderstood.

Anyway, point is, I'm here to tell the story of an ADHDer who has employed and is embracing a stimulant medication to be at my best.

In fact, in hindsight, I severely undermined how difficult daily life was without it.

If someone had told me ten years ago I'd be using meds, I'd have cried.

I have had multiple and various adverse reactions to medications including my vaccinations, which is what caused me to be autistic (KIDDING, couldn't help it - a little PDA humour in there) but serious about the reactions to meds and vaccines.

If I known I would be using meds,

I would have thought my life was over.

And the truth is, at 41, my life is just beginning.

So hey, no med shaming on this page.

For some, it bloody works.

(Please know I'm not comfortable with giving out medication details)

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KF

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