I would sob in isolation, convinced I didn’t know how to raise my children correctly because I was looking for the ‘right’ (safest, socially acceptable) answer.
I would criticize myself, reject myself, blame myself for all the ways my children’s challenges were a reflection of me.
Oh but how little I knew that my beautiful babies were indeed a mirror, reflecting back our luminous autistic identity and culture, drowned out by the many projections of neuronormative culture.
Today, I'm a single parent. I'm still going strong, and I know my worth.
Lay all the flowers at your feet today, not tomorrow.
KF