It's important we tell our children the truth.
When an adult stands over a child, tells them "I make the rules", attempts to intimidate them or yells,
It's the adult who is out of control and not the child.
We are human. We all have human moments.
We yell, we stand over, we do many things in the spur of the moment that are spontaneous ways of taking back the control we feel we've lost.
This is not exclusive to PDAers.
The adults, educators, professionals, parents, outsiders who attempt to change our children with those approaches above are grasping for control.
It doesn't make sense to the child. It isn't logical to say "I'm a grown up and so I make the rules".
Social hierarchies do humanity a great disservice in this respect.
People in positions of leadership are more often than not, there because of privilege.
The privilege of money.
The privilege of education.
The privilege of connections.
The privilege of skin colour.
Human brains are changing. This is evolution and it cannot be prevented.
As a PDAer, I reject leadership in the traditional sense.
I value facilitation, community, circle, shared and LIVED experience.
I value experience. Wisdom that comes from trial and error.
I listen to humility.
I admire those who admit wrongs against others and apologise and/or offer amends.
I recognise those who know and understand their power.
But traditional leadership hurts people.
Leaders in positions due to privilege need no other qualifications according to the virus of societal conformity, social and cultural constructs.
Privilege is not bad or wrong. At all.
But it's worthless if it isn't accompanied by lived experience, humility, compassion and a willingness to learn from others.
When adults stand over our children and raise their voices, we must tell our children that is not okay.
We must inform our childrens' sense of self and understanding of their value and the validity of their experience and feelings by telling them the truth about being human.
Adults are just as wet behind the ears as babies.
We are all learners.
Power is not about control.
Power is about always retuning to our centre and living out from our heart space.
(Image description: A photo of a woman walking through the bush. She is looking towards the ground as though searching for something.)
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