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An image of a lady sitting at a desk with a superimposed Jedi mask covering her face

Why wasn't I invited to be a Jedi? (a fun one)

autism behaviours neurodivergent Mar 03, 2021
Random weekday memory...
I once went against my better judgement out of curiosity (it's ALWAYS that autistic curiosity and fascination with humans, concepts and belief systems) and sat in on a live webinar on DNA spiritual and energetic cleansing.
Yep, I just said that.
That's what I said.
It consisted of a married couple of human beings (I'm writing the human beings part to convince myself) who claimed to be able to do all kinds of things including time travel, invisibility, and riding on ancient rugs into the sky (okay, ya got me, I made that last one up).
At the end of the session (yep, I stuck it out even with my ADHD) they offered a meditation.
I was a little scared.
I was also very tired.
I partook in the meditation and fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was all over and they told us that they'd let us know who they were choosing based on quantum physics and a splash of ylang-ylang oil on their right wrist on a full moon on Thursday (clearly I made that last one up too), but they were going to let us know.
They called the chosen ones "Jedis".
I wish I could say I made that one up.
I waited for my email to say that I was a chosen Jedi and would be taught how to levitate and be invisible and time travel, but the email never came.
I just thought it was a really tough decision and they'd let me know eventually.
A few weeks later, whilst visiting a friend I knew had also partaken in the Jedi information session about DNA energetic and spiritual cleansing, she told me both she and her husband had been invited to be Jedis and learn levitation, invisibility and time travel.
It was a shock, I have to say.
Why wasn't I invited to be a Jedi?
I read through the email my friend had received all about becoming a Jedi.
There were levels. And you had to pass each level in order to move up to the next level.
Each level involved a whole lot of meditation and thinking about the level.
Oh, and $10,000 per month.
I emailed them.
I asked why I hadn't been invited to be a Jedi who would be taught levitation, invisibility and time travel.
Turns out, I asked too many questions.
I asked one.
It was "Are our names and details visible to the other participants of this webinar?".
The moral of the story?
Being neurodivergent may have prevented me from being a Jedi.
On a serious note: It's good to ask questions, have an animated face that cringes and twists and eyes that widen and a smirk that cannot be hidden on a live webinar.
Being autistic means that the way I receive information and people, places and things is mostly with neutrality, subjectivity and openness and without judgement.
But that curiosity always gets me.
Did you ever find yourself engaged in some 'left of centre' shenanigans out of curiosity in your younger years?
- KF

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