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An elephant with its calf walking in a field

An invitation to lead with love.

autism neurodivergent parenting Jun 17, 2021
Contrary to popular parenting advice, the time when our children return to the safety of our energy after being in trouble is not the time to lecture.
It is not the time to remind our babies why we were angry or what they did wrong and why they should never do that thing again.
It’s not helpful to take this time; this incredibly beautiful return to love; their seeking of reconnection with us and turn it into a lesson.
It is, in fact, an opportunity; a lesson for us.
The opportunity to practise unconditional love and radical acceptance.
It is a time to hold our children, to lean into the softness and vulnerability of their energy; and to reassure them with our actions in return that no matter what they say or do, they are always loved.
Learning is being.
This moment is a time for us to work on letting go of our need to control.
There are many opportunities for us as parents and carers to practise letting go of our need to control learning outcomes and to just allow ourselves to follow the natural, organic expression of our intuitive parenting.
Where our children are highly anxious, demand avoidant, sensitive and defensive; they fear and struggle with vulnerability.
The moment they return to us after those moments of struggle, even where they continue to tell us where we went wrong, even when we feel THEY’re wrong, will be a rare opportunity to let it go.
It is a time for us to be still, to be quiet.
It is a time for us to learn the power of energy, and the power of communication in energy.
Let them say what they need to say, and love them anyway.
The lectures, the life lessons, will come about naturally.
The more we hover, correct, reprimand, push, sigh, eye roll... The more we push them away.
It is in our strength to forgive, to accept, to understand, to be curious and to be a soft landing for our children that offers them the most important lessons there are.
An invitation to lead with love.
- KF

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