Reflections
Essays from Kristy Forbes exploring PDA, autistic experience, parenting, identity, care, systems and the ordinary moments that shape family life.
My university days went like this.
Aug 12, 2021
I'm not an autistic researcher.
I am not a psychologist.
I take my hat off to my neurokin who are.
I am forever grateful to those who are engaged in research and academia, creating significant a
...We bring our children home.
Jul 22, 2021
We bring our children home
From failed systems
That have been enabled not to care
Not to care for our children
For us; when we were the children
We educate our children
And while trying to create a safe sp
...School Trauma: Tuning into the language of behaviour.
Jul 08, 2021
For many of us, when we withdraw our children from school after prolonged challenges within that system, we expect that our children will begin to do better at home.
This isn't always so.
Our chil
...Appearances can be (so very) deceiving.
Jul 01, 2021
I'm a PDA autistic (Pathological demand avoidance).
This means that my social connectedness; my ability to engage with others naturally and to make eye contact gives the impression that I possess a higher level
...How I show up in friendships.
Jun 24, 2021
Hi! 
I'm Kristy, and I'm TERRIBLE at being a friend in the neuronormative sense.
I'm Kristy, and I'm TERRIBLE at being a friend in the neuronormative sense.I take months to respond to messages in my inbox, if ever.
Sometimes I say things that come across as blunt, forceful, of
...An invitation to lead with love.
Jun 17, 2021
Contrary to popular parenting advice, the time when our children return to the safety of our energy after being in trouble is not the time to lecture.
It is not the time to remind our babies why we were angry o
...Sensory overload and a social hangover.
Jun 10, 2021
Sitting here reminiscing about the good ole masking in social situations; days of extreme and intense anxiety for weeks, months leading up to events with other people.
The day would finally arrive and I’d be fr
...Meeting my (now) husband.
May 20, 2021
In the years of my heavily masked unidentified autistic life, dating was an absolute nightmare.
I hated it.
Relationships caused me so much confusion, pain, self-doubt and anguish.
Flirting. Ugh
...Reclaiming the word "autistic."
May 13, 2021
A great beginning point when becoming a friend and ally to the autistic community is to use the term "autistic" rather than ASD.
I see the abbreviation ASD and my skin crawls.
Autism Spectrum Disorder.
...When there's not enough processing time.
Apr 29, 2021
Parenting is tough.
Being autistic and parenting can be challenging when we share the same sensory challenges as our little people and need time and space to be calm.
Today we had a tricky moment and I
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