Reflections

Essays from Kristy Forbes exploring PDA, autistic experience, parenting, identity, care, systems and the ordinary moments that shape family life.

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Latest reflection

I Have Never Trusted the Panic Around Screens

Aug 01, 2026

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187 archive reflections shown, plus the latest reflection above

I Stopped Getting Up to Play. I Started Playing From the Floor.

Jul 25, 2026

The car saved me

Jul 19, 2026

I Stopped Expecting Independence. I Started Offering Accommodation.

Jun 27, 2026

I Stopped Pretending I Got It Right. I Started Coming Back.

Jun 13, 2026

I Stopped Explaining What's Next and I Started Shrinking the Unknow...

Jun 07, 2026

The Unfurling

May 31, 2026

I Stopped Pulling Them Out of Their World and I Started Stepping In...

May 30, 2026

I stopped reminding them to shower and I started making it safe.

May 16, 2026

Lay the flowers at your own feet

May 10, 2026

I stopped trying to teach my child and started learning in front of...

May 03, 2026

What self compassion actually looks like for parents and carers rai...

Apr 26, 2026

When burnout looks like breaking: what's really happening when our ...

Apr 18, 2026

From Shame to Safety: For those of us who didn't understand our chi...

Apr 12, 2026

Why Easter can feel so hard for my family

Apr 05, 2026

Instead of trying to get my child off screens, I started making the...

Mar 28, 2026

"I want to try school again..."

Mar 21, 2026

Who owns knowledge? Neurodivergence, power and the colonisation of ...

Mar 13, 2026

Listening to the children who resist

Mar 02, 2026

PDAers often struggle with being perceived

Mar 01, 2026

When PDAers become animals

Dec 20, 2025

"What are your qualifications, really?"

Dec 12, 2025

Lay the flowers at your own feet

Dec 05, 2025

I fear for the rights of my non speaking autistic teen

Oct 12, 2025

Perfectionism, Perception and PDA

Oct 06, 2025

To Struggle Is To Be Human

Sep 27, 2025

Beyond Compliance: Why Our Children Deserve More Than Declarative L...

Sep 20, 2025

The Politics of Childhood: Why Compliance Isn’t the Goal

Sep 14, 2025

PDA Parenting Isn’t Perfect: It’s Real, Raw, and Relational

Sep 07, 2025

Is this my child's lack of gratitude, or is it my grief?

Aug 31, 2025

A Letter to Myself at 7, and the Life I Lived to Write Back

Aug 24, 2025

The pressure to “fix” autistic kids is hurting families

Aug 03, 2025

PDA accommodations for children can be challenging for parents and ...

Jul 30, 2025

Advocacy for Education is not an attack on Educators

May 20, 2025

How will they learn they are safe to say No?

May 09, 2025

Raspberry slurpee on the carpet: How I coregulate as a Mum to PDAers

Feb 18, 2025

What is PDA?

Dec 02, 2024

Firmer boundaries, comfort zones and PDA

Nov 24, 2024

When Productivity Meets Burnout: The Importance of Slowing Down

Oct 08, 2024

Am I more than neurodivergent?

Sep 28, 2024

Are your PDA children short and sharp with you in front of others a...

Apr 07, 2024

I never want to forget.

Jan 05, 2024

Our child is struggling with demand avoidance and cannot complete s...

Jan 01, 2024

I will not wait until I’m in my last days.

Oct 03, 2023

It never gets easier

Sep 27, 2023

I have not yet rebuilt.

Sep 22, 2023

When I give, I give myself.

Sep 11, 2023

We're in this together.

Sep 05, 2023

PDAers don't make promises.

Sep 05, 2023

You don't like the soup?

Aug 02, 2023

Yesterday, someone trolled me on social media.

Aug 02, 2023

It's her time to shine.

Jul 14, 2023

Hypermobility

Jun 12, 2023

PDA, Easter and other events

Apr 06, 2023

Preferred VS Non Preferred tasks

Mar 27, 2023

Relational Safety: The most important workplace accommodation of al...

Mar 01, 2023

This week is a sorrowful one for me - By Dannielle, our Social Medi...

Jan 25, 2023

What are your qualifications?

Jan 06, 2023

You deserve to be liberated; an end of year reflection.

Dec 23, 2022

Receiving Gifts - An Autistic Experience

Dec 07, 2022

We can reframe our experience of parenting autistic children

Oct 15, 2022

Discovering me

Sep 26, 2022

School trauma is real

Aug 25, 2022

The Facade of 'Hope".

Jul 21, 2022

This is not about our children

Jun 19, 2022

We're diagnosing autistic folks, then pretending they're not autist...

Jun 03, 2022

I activated their threat response

May 31, 2022

When 'healing' from trauma is the new self imposed pressure

May 14, 2022

I rise between 4-6am.

Apr 24, 2022

My children won't get the same Mother

Apr 16, 2022

Celebrating when clients move on

Apr 09, 2022

Healing the child behind the parent

Apr 08, 2022

Raising ourselves and our children in neurodivergent culture

Feb 03, 2022

Awareness is not a cure for disability: PDA

Jan 05, 2022

How I started shifting my parenting perspective

Nov 26, 2021

Navigating ND Culture: Parenting

Oct 29, 2021

Stop looking away from intersectionality

Oct 14, 2021

What happens when you say "No."

Oct 06, 2021

I am not my trauma

Sep 23, 2021

Failed relationships & neurodivergence

Sep 10, 2021

It flows through my bloodlines

Aug 24, 2021

I'd rather stab my eye than do this... (spoiler: it's group work)...

Aug 13, 2021

I’ll never ‘overcome’ my PDA neurobiology.

Aug 13, 2021

This is Me.

Aug 13, 2021

My Dreaming Life

Aug 13, 2021

I remember every single name, every single humiliation.

Aug 13, 2021

This is how I live most of my life now.

Aug 13, 2021

Labels, labels, labels.

Aug 13, 2021

My university days went like this.

Aug 11, 2021

She is so much more.

Aug 04, 2021

My PDA neurobiology.

Jul 28, 2021

We bring our children home.

Jul 21, 2021

Where my grief came from.

Jul 14, 2021

School Trauma: Tuning into the language of behaviour.

Jul 07, 2021

Appearances can be (so very) deceiving.

Jun 30, 2021

How I show up in friendships.

Jun 23, 2021

An invitation to lead with love.

Jun 16, 2021

Sensory overload and a social hangover.

Jun 09, 2021

Food, glorious food!

Jun 04, 2021

Meeting my (now) husband.

May 19, 2021

Reclaiming the word "autistic."

May 12, 2021

My disability is my most sacred ally.

May 05, 2021

When there's not enough processing time.

Apr 28, 2021

I'm not looking at you.

Apr 21, 2021

Hello there, passive-aggression.

Apr 14, 2021

This is a difficult time. Let's acknowledge that.

Apr 07, 2021

Awareness month? Nah, not over here.

Mar 31, 2021

Repeat after me... "I am not my child."

Mar 24, 2021

Let's discuss: "Living with autism."

Mar 17, 2021

What I've learned as a PDAer...

Mar 10, 2021

Why wasn't I invited to be a Jedi? (a fun one)

Mar 02, 2021

You have permission to protect your energy.

Feb 24, 2021

The problem with mainstream education: Is there one?

Feb 04, 2021

You might be doing it wrong.

Feb 04, 2021

PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and villains.

Dec 27, 2020

Screens, screens, screeeeeens!

Dec 18, 2020

Her behaviour was unacceptable.

Dec 04, 2020

The diversity of resilience.

Dec 04, 2020

Autistic children, school and burnout.

Dec 04, 2020

Autism & Addiction: My Story

Dec 04, 2020

There is no “Imperfection” in Human Being and Doing

Nov 29, 2020

Those Children were the Canaries in the Coal Mine

Nov 26, 2020

Dealing with my Sensory Sensitivities

Nov 24, 2020

Important Factors to Consider when having Discussions about our Chi...

Nov 22, 2020

Our Children will Show us all we Need to Know

Nov 19, 2020

It's Time to Take a Different Approach in our Classrooms

Nov 17, 2020

Longing for the Place where we Belong

Nov 12, 2020

I am Autistic with a capital A.

Nov 10, 2020

Who do you Draw Courage From?

Nov 08, 2020

Learning to Parent from my Heart Space

Nov 06, 2020

We are all Learning. Always.

Nov 04, 2020

Trusting Your Intuition

Oct 30, 2020

Today, I lean into the Joy of what my Life has Become

Oct 28, 2020

I want Freedom. Autistic, Neurodivergent and Divergent Freedom.

Oct 26, 2020

Do I reject that D in ADHD?

Oct 23, 2020

We Know our Kin

Oct 19, 2020

Why do those of us with a PDA Autistic Profile Antagonise Others?

Oct 15, 2020

Being Autistic PDA and in Business - I'm just gonna be ME

Oct 12, 2020

How We Found a Way to Take Care of ALL of Our Needs

Oct 06, 2020

Often an Autistic Person's 'Habit' is actually a Solution

Oct 05, 2020

Neurodiversity is for Everyone. That's the Point.

Oct 02, 2020

Let's Talk about Theory of Mind

Sep 30, 2020

Why not try joining your Children in some Mischief?

Sep 28, 2020

ADHD and ME

Sep 25, 2020

A Plethora of Therapies isn't always the Answer

Sep 24, 2020

Your Voice is Powerful

Sep 21, 2020

We must Love and Forgive Ourselves in order to make Amends to our C...

Sep 18, 2020

As a Neurodivergent, I Live, Love, Process and Experience Life from...

Sep 14, 2020

This is Autistic Burnout

Sep 11, 2020

Autism is my Identity and my Culture

Sep 06, 2020

What is it to Pathologise a Human Being?

Sep 02, 2020

You’re Already Living with Purpose

Sep 02, 2020

I am an Autistic Person. Just Like You.

Aug 31, 2020

Breaking Down the Communication Barrier

Aug 26, 2020

"But everyone does that!" - Learning to Identify the Divergence wit...

Aug 25, 2020

What is Neurodivergent Sibling Life?

Aug 19, 2020

The Unexpected Pressures of Lockdown 2.0

Aug 18, 2020

Let's Talk About Autistic Levels

Aug 12, 2020

We are Responsible for our Reactions, not our Children

Jul 30, 2020

The Profound Impact of Language

Jul 22, 2020

Why is parent advocacy so important?

Jul 15, 2020

You Have the Right to Follow your Exploration of Neurodivergent Ide...

Jul 08, 2020

Overcoming my need for control when parenting with PDA

Jul 01, 2020

I am a Privileged Autistic Person

Jun 23, 2020

Why do many autistic children lay on the ground or sleep on the floor?

Jun 13, 2020

The Practice of Letting Things Go

Jun 10, 2020

I Am Different

Jun 03, 2020

Bless her PDA Heart

May 26, 2020

All is Well in the Moment

May 21, 2020

PDA stops me in my joy, too.

Apr 27, 2020

The humour in the darkness

Apr 27, 2020

'Untouchable' love

Apr 27, 2020

This is not 'that' time

Apr 27, 2020

Literal Solutions

Apr 27, 2020

April is Autism 'Awareness' month, and it hurts.

Apr 27, 2020

When the pressure is off

Apr 27, 2020

My Mother didn't sleep for years

Apr 07, 2020

April is hard

Apr 07, 2020

I am going home to do differently

Mar 24, 2020

I love you all

Mar 20, 2020

This is not about our children

Mar 19, 2020

An opportunity to see ourselves

Mar 18, 2020

Let us be kind

Mar 17, 2020

Stand proud in our identity and culture

Mar 12, 2020

I learnt to always pretend

Mar 11, 2020

Open Hearts

Mar 10, 2020

Morning Joy

Mar 06, 2020

Learning as a PDAer

Mar 05, 2020